2015: New Year and New Goals

California Sunshine
Tennessee Valley; Sunset Lookout over Stinson and Bolinas

Happy 2015 everyone! The past two weeks I spent in beautiful sunny California. The sunshine followed me the entire time I was in CA. Apparently it snowed in SoCal for a brief stint, but luckily I was up North and missed it. I was constantly on the move over break, driving hundreds of miles to cover San Diego, the LA Area and Bay Area. I saw a different friend or family member almost each day I was in CA. I can definitely say I recharged and feel like I socialized more than I have in months. Not to mention I filled my belly with lots of cheese, craft beer and homemade treats from my Grandma - and only had to wear two layers and could feel my fingers and toes the entire time (as I type this they are both numb, making blog writing a slow process).

Maybe it is the psychological effect of having a "clean slate," with the New Year, but I definitely feel fresh and re-energized. I have taken the past four weeks in particular to reflect on my life and present situation. Between reading a myriad of self-help books, articles, mindfulness-themed blogs, and having meaningful conversations with close friends and family, I feel that I have a new perspective on my situation in Japan, not to mention myself as a person.

SoCal and UCSD Friends: Lilly, Sasha, Annabelle and Hannah

Rather than resolutions, I have decided to come up with goals for the new year. My main new year goal that I have set out for myself is to - focus on me. This may sound selfish, but I think it is  something I don't do enough. By the end of 2014 I realized how much of a "giver," I am. Meaning, I tend to put all of my mental and physical efforts into my relationships with others. Although not a bad quality to dedicate time and energy into relationships, I realize how little time I gave to myself. Rather than focusing on my own well-being I have a tendency to also make sure others are OK first, and not take the time to check-in with myself. Instead, I am now vowing to not eliminate the act of giving from my personality, but to emphasize doing things for me. Such as traveling more, making decisions that are for me and me alone, not letting myself structure my life around other people, and only surrounding myself with people that make me feel great.

In turn with realizing I am a "giver," I have also really focused on the fact that I am an introvert. My best friend Sarah encouraged me to take this personality test on 16personalities.com, we both got the same results as ISFJ. I have reread my description a  few times, and although I have always been skeptical of these types of assessments, nearly every part resonated with me. In particular my take on relationships, friendships and habits. I also started reading the book Quiet, which I believe ALL people should read. It has already given me a huge insight into how I interact in amongst large groups (cue me remembering how after every Tour I gave at UCSD all I wanted to do was not talk to anyone for a few hours after - classic sign of introverts), and also being in Japan which is culturally and statistically introverted has made an impact on my workplace interactions. In other words, this book has given me insight into my own personality and how being an introvert isn't always a bad thing.

GoPro Selfies with Mama Foley
Christmas 2014

Another goal I have, which is slightly related to the prior one, is to establish well-balanced schedules and routines. Taking a break in CA, it immediately reminded me how much I enjoy being busy. Senior year of College I was exhausted, working two jobs, taking a full class load, being a VP in my sorority, attending social functions every other night and taking some trips etc. I may have complained at the time, but I loved it. I definitely have an opposite situation now. I have too much free time. My job on most days isn't that busy or hard for me, and I have really struggled to fill all my gaps. I have never been great at entertaining myself in front of a computer, which seems to be my only outlet at work and thus has been a problem. It definitely has made me lazier, and less inspired to really do anything. I realize I always capitalized on free time previously because it was precious. Now with a plethora, it is really easy to simply say, "Oh, well I can do that later..." and then the task never gets done.

An article that my Mom just sent me titled, "7 Strange Questions That Help You Find Your Life Purpose"  lays out my problem point blank. In particular the author's questions of, "Gun to your head, if you had to leave the house all day, every day, what would you do?" and, "If you knew you were going to die one year from today, what would you do and how would you want it to be remembered?" Now these are harsh questions that for me at least, really make me not want to be sitting on the couch after work everyday watching Netflix. Moreover, I am working on planning to utilize my free time as if I had classes: 1 hour to cook and clean, 1 hour to exercise, 1 hour teaching myself Light room, 1 hour taking photos outside etc. In turn, I want to better maximize the fact that I am in Japan.

Bay Area Adventures: Esther and Liza

I have other goals too, some are ones I already was executing in 2014 such as exercising regularly and cooking most of my meals at least 5 times a week. Other goals are more ambitious, and encouraged by my friends, like being more creative. In high school I was really invested in my art, and I definitely lost sight of that in College, therefore I hope to regain some of my creativity here. I hope to continue writing, on this blog, in my journal, keeping up my DayOne photo app journal about my time here.

Lastly, a really important one, is to be present and relax more. I am very Type A and OCD. I had to be at school, but it definitely has caused me to become an obnoxious planner and stress out when others don't align with my thinking. I have considerably become more lax. Planning spontaneous trips, not stressing as much about informal gatherings, and frankly not making every minute worrying about other people's schedule and rather just focusing on my own.

SF Adventures: My Little Stella
NYE in SF: Sarah and Liz - Hometown and College Friends Unite

Finally, a few ways I have come to this newfound positivity with a "clean slate," prospect is really focusing on mindfulness and letting go. I read this article last month when I was feeling particularly down, each of the ten things listed I have either let go of, or am working on it, "10 Things To Let Go of Before the New Year." MindBodyGreen is a great site filled with tips and compilation of blog posts that have really helped me further focus on myself and stay positive. In particular this article really targets a lot of the internal struggles I have had. Specifically, I used to constantly ask myself this question, "WHY is this happening to me?" as well as struggling with maintaining control and feeling like my current situation was going to to be my lifestyle for the long-haul.

I realize more than ever, that I have to be present, we all should. I encourage everyone to focus on themselves. Do not feel selfish by putting yourself first. Just yesterday Brian, my best friend in JET, told me I sounded more confident and asked where it came from. Frankly, I think it is because I am making myself number one in my life and thus boosting my happiness level.

January 1, 2015
Tennessee Valley with Sarah

I reflect back to a year ago, when I still had two quarters at UCSD, not knowing where I was going to work, freaking out that I wasn't going to graduate because I had to take two major classes at the same time, not to mention what felt like a million other stresses since I had no idea what not being in school would feel like. Now, a year later I can say that 2014 was really great. For a while I was negating all of the fun and positive experiences I had in the conclusion of my Senior year, and acting like a Negative Nancy here in Japan. However, after going home I realize how much I have learned by being Japan, how much I have grown, and how strong I am as a person. Also, I truly feel grateful for all of the amazing friends and family I have in my life. A good selection, but not all, are photographed in this blog entry. I feel extremely fortunate to have maintained so many long-lasting relationships over the years. I plan to focus on continuing to maintain them in the new year.

I am excited for 2015. For the unknown paths we are all going to take. I am excited for all my friends who are  on a similar journey that I am. I really think 2015 holds a lot of promise. I have no idea what will happen, where I will end up post- JET. Yet, I realize there is no point in worrying, since frankly I  have no idea what lesson I am supposed to teach today, so in lieu of being present I have to focus on the little things first.

I encourage you all to be present and mindful, focus on yourselves, and jumpstart 2015 with positivity. Happy New Year Everyone!