Leslie Reiko Chikahisa Foley
August 30, 1957 - March 6, 2015
“What we have once enjoyed we can never lose.
All that we
love deeply becomes a part of us.” – Helen Keller
On March 6th,
a truly phenomenal woman passed on. To me, she will always be known as
my Mother. To others, a daughter, a sister, a cousin, an aunt, a best friend,
but most of all as: Leslie.
In Winter of 2013, my Mom was diagnosed with Stage 3
esophageal cancer. From the beginning her diagnosis was extreme. Yet, my mother
along with a team of fantastic medical professionals and not to mention support
from loved ones, fought against this horrid disease for the past two years. It
wasn’t until the very end of her battle did the cancer truly take over her. In
the last month of her life, it progressed rapidly, causing her breathing to
decrease and weaken her entire system, which ultimately took her life.
Although this treacherous disease took my Mom’s life, in my
mind, I will always consider her as a true warrior and in many ways, a
survivor. Despite her young age, my Mom lived an incredible life, which no two
years can detract from, nor redefine what my Mother is truly known for amongst
her many achievements and qualities.
My Mom's Parents - Ray and Evelyn - Circa 1957
I've heard from many people how proud my Mom was of me. What I hope my Mom knows, is I too have always been very proud of her. I think my friends can attest I've done nothing but brag about my Mother's strength and great character over the years. She's always been my role model, and she always will be.
My Mom never liked being put in the spotlight. In
preparation for her memorial, which was held this past Saturday, March 14th,
my Grandma, Aunt and I deliriously joked every night this week that she would
be telling us we were "doing too much." Yet, since we all come from the same
family, we, like her, are stubborn and refused to produce anything less than
perfect. I’m fortunate to say, Saturday was just that in my eyes.
Sisters - Then and Now
Leslie and Tracey
1992 and 2015
(FYI: 1992 Were Probably Her Favorite Years Appearance Wise)
My Mom was an incredibly modest and selfless individual. Rarely, if ever did she complain or impose on others. Myself included. My Mom was a firm believer in letting me live my own life. Never once did she use her diagnosis as a way to get me to come home or visit more. Rather, my relationship with my Mother strengthened naturally. Throughout the past two years, she was always reluctant to tell me or show me how much pain and suffering she was going through. I’m incredibly fortunate that she was encouraged to ask me to return from Japan. Even though it was the hardest thing I ever will do in my life, I got to say good-bye to my Mother and tell her how much I loved and will always love her in her final days.
I always knew my Mom was a strong and independent woman, but I cannot emphasize with enough compassion how true these defining characteristics are. Like many of us encounter in life, she too had her fair share of hardships. Yet, my Mom had many successes. For example, in the form of her career where she continually pushed the boundaries as a female professional. She ensured I was always on top of my academics, and supported me in all of my personal interests. Whether it be attending all of my martial arts tests and competitions over 11 years, or coming to every single one of my tennis matches in high school. She supported me in all of my endeavors. She encouraged me throughout UCSD, and was always at the ready when I would give her frantic phone calls in preparation for a job interview, to discuss relationship and friendship drama, or simply vent like all mother and daughters do with one another. She was an incredibly talented craftswoman, from sewing to knitting, and simply had an artistic eye. She and I got to see the world together, notable in Italy and Japan -two precious trips I'll always cherish with her. She accomplished a lot in life, but the parts of her life that I got to witness will always be the most memorable for me.
UCSD Graduation: Dad, Mom and I
Christmas 2012
One of my Mom's most notable characteristics, is that she was fantastic with communication and maintaining relationships. As I've slowly been sorting through her possessions, I've found boxes of cards, letters and gifts that my Mom's large network of family and friends have given her over the past couple of years. It's no surprise to me that she was loved by so many people, but discovering such precious items continually shows me what great character my Mom has had throughout her lifetime.
Even though my Mom is no longer physically present in this world, I know she's here with me and all of those whom love her, she always will be. The bond and memories she shared with so many individuals, including myself, are truly everlasting. Her smile, her wit, her laugh, her sheer beauty inside and out will forever be a part of this world.
Italy 2012
Japan 2014
Baby Comparison
In so many aspects of my life, my Mom knew me better than my own self. Because of that, she really helped shape me into being the person I am today. My Mom was the person who gave me my wings. She allowed me to be independent and trusted me to make the right choices. She instilled in me her own strength, stubbornness, and overall drive to succeed. She and I have always been two of a kind, and we always will be. Even though the pain of missing her will always sting, I know my Mom wouldn't want me to stop my life from moving forward even through this difficult time. I plan on spreading my wings and flying in the very near future. For now, I simply want to say:
I love you Mom, always and forever.
-A
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