Week 29: Six Months and Winter Recap

What's Niigata Sign Outside of Niigata Station

Happy Winter Everyone! The snow is continually falling, my fingers are constantly numb, yet I couldn't have had a better month and a half. I've officially been in Japan for over six months. Now, those horrible humid days filled with complaints and negativity seem like they were ages ago. It's funny how fast time zips by you. I credit the fast progression of 2015 to sheer motivation to stay busy and continually push myself to accomplish my new year's goals. Specifically focusing on surrounding myself with caring individuals, traveling and truly enjoying Japan. 

Talia and I Freezing on the Slopes

I've gone skiing about seven times since 2015 started and I love it! Although I've had my moments where I seemingly get stuck half way down a run, or just want to give up, I'm grateful for my Yukiguni crew's patience and encouragement every time I hit the slopes. I've wiped out several times, lost a ski (temporarily), and even have had awesome friends crawl back up the mountain to help me, but it's been a blast and I can say I can successfully go down a run without looking like a squashed purple eggplant rolling down the mountain (my snow gear is all shades of purple). 

Visiting Brian and Niigata-Shi Game Night

The second week of January was spent visiting Brian and hanging out with other ALTs in Niigata City. I hadn't seen Brain in nearly two months, and had not seen many of these ALTs since I first got to Japan, so it was incredibly nice to catch up and mingle with different faces. In turn, the weather is drastically different in the city and along the coast. There is nearly no snow! So my marshmallow snow booties were basically pointless during this trip. Regardless, it was an incredibly relaxing trip, filled with lots of meaningful conversations and not to mention great food! 

My 23rd Birthday 

In other news, I turned 23! It was my first birthday spent outside of California and it far exceeded my expectations. Not only did I wake up to a plethora of loving and thoughtful messages, I was extremely touched by the efforts and excitement people had for my birthday. 

The weekend comprised a trip to Niigata City where several of us stayed at a hotel, dined on (surprisingly) delicious Mexican food, and danced the night away amongst awkward Japanese people at a club in the city. I'll be frank and say the style of "Japanese Clubbing," is a cultural experience in itself and nothing like I've experienced in the states. Regardless, it made for a hilarious and fun night! 

I'm incredibly thankful for all my friends and family back Stateside and around the world who made me feel so loved and thought of during my birthday weekend. The only great thing about the time difference is my birthday felt like it spanned over a couple of days. Not to mention the cards and generous gifts I've received in the mail :) All in all, I am continually touched and appreciative for the strong relationships I've cultivated and maintained throughout this experience and over the years. 

Singapore with Mac!

The highlight of January was going to Singapore to visit one of my best friends and former Italy roommate: Mac! This amazing woman recently moved to Singapore through her job at LinkedIn, and of course I had to jet over there ASAP. This trip is going to get its own blog post very soon (GoPro movie is also in the making!), but in summary it was AMAZING. Not only was I giddy to wear dresses the entire weekend, but we dined like queens and saw so much of this diverse country. I truly cannot emphasize how well planned out, and fun it was thanks to Mac's research and sheer enthusiasm for being abroad. There's a reason we clicked and traveled so well back in 2012, and I'm very grateful to have another friend and travel buddy in Asia. We're in the works of planning our next adventure together. More about this trip will be on the blog shortly!

My Post-Singapore Arm Workout

Jigokudani, Nagano - A.K.A. Monkey Park!

The weeks post-Singapore have picked up in snow, and I seemingly have a morning arm workout every other day. However, the luxury of having a car presents the opportunity to travel locally! For the first weekend in February I went to Nagano for the weekend with Brian and Alicia. Again, another blog post will be dedicated to this great trip. The highlight was going to Jigokudani, which is a Monkey Onsen Park. These wild snow monkeys are everywhere, and are so fun to watch and take pictures of. It was fantastic seeing another prefecture and part of Japan. Surprisingly, although Nagano was great to visit I like Niigata more. It's funny how much more I've grown to appreciate my snowy prefecture in this new year!

Moreover, the past month and a half has been a blast! I'm exhausted from traveling, but also extremely energized and happy I've seen so much in such a short period of time. In this new year back, I've learned a lot about myself and what gives me enjoyment. I continue to put myself first and feed my personal desires. As always, I have been keeping in touch with my large network of friends and family. It's the daily messages that constantly help me through those bad days at work or moments when my mood completely flips un-expectantly. As always, I'm ever thankful. 

Expect at least two more blog posts, hopefully coupled with GoPro videos (I'm still a newbie, so it's taking me a while) and other exciting updates in the near future. 

Always,

Adrienne 

2015: New Year and New Goals

California Sunshine
Tennessee Valley; Sunset Lookout over Stinson and Bolinas

Happy 2015 everyone! The past two weeks I spent in beautiful sunny California. The sunshine followed me the entire time I was in CA. Apparently it snowed in SoCal for a brief stint, but luckily I was up North and missed it. I was constantly on the move over break, driving hundreds of miles to cover San Diego, the LA Area and Bay Area. I saw a different friend or family member almost each day I was in CA. I can definitely say I recharged and feel like I socialized more than I have in months. Not to mention I filled my belly with lots of cheese, craft beer and homemade treats from my Grandma - and only had to wear two layers and could feel my fingers and toes the entire time (as I type this they are both numb, making blog writing a slow process).

Maybe it is the psychological effect of having a "clean slate," with the New Year, but I definitely feel fresh and re-energized. I have taken the past four weeks in particular to reflect on my life and present situation. Between reading a myriad of self-help books, articles, mindfulness-themed blogs, and having meaningful conversations with close friends and family, I feel that I have a new perspective on my situation in Japan, not to mention myself as a person.

SoCal and UCSD Friends: Lilly, Sasha, Annabelle and Hannah

Rather than resolutions, I have decided to come up with goals for the new year. My main new year goal that I have set out for myself is to - focus on me. This may sound selfish, but I think it is  something I don't do enough. By the end of 2014 I realized how much of a "giver," I am. Meaning, I tend to put all of my mental and physical efforts into my relationships with others. Although not a bad quality to dedicate time and energy into relationships, I realize how little time I gave to myself. Rather than focusing on my own well-being I have a tendency to also make sure others are OK first, and not take the time to check-in with myself. Instead, I am now vowing to not eliminate the act of giving from my personality, but to emphasize doing things for me. Such as traveling more, making decisions that are for me and me alone, not letting myself structure my life around other people, and only surrounding myself with people that make me feel great.

In turn with realizing I am a "giver," I have also really focused on the fact that I am an introvert. My best friend Sarah encouraged me to take this personality test on 16personalities.com, we both got the same results as ISFJ. I have reread my description a  few times, and although I have always been skeptical of these types of assessments, nearly every part resonated with me. In particular my take on relationships, friendships and habits. I also started reading the book Quiet, which I believe ALL people should read. It has already given me a huge insight into how I interact in amongst large groups (cue me remembering how after every Tour I gave at UCSD all I wanted to do was not talk to anyone for a few hours after - classic sign of introverts), and also being in Japan which is culturally and statistically introverted has made an impact on my workplace interactions. In other words, this book has given me insight into my own personality and how being an introvert isn't always a bad thing.

GoPro Selfies with Mama Foley
Christmas 2014

Another goal I have, which is slightly related to the prior one, is to establish well-balanced schedules and routines. Taking a break in CA, it immediately reminded me how much I enjoy being busy. Senior year of College I was exhausted, working two jobs, taking a full class load, being a VP in my sorority, attending social functions every other night and taking some trips etc. I may have complained at the time, but I loved it. I definitely have an opposite situation now. I have too much free time. My job on most days isn't that busy or hard for me, and I have really struggled to fill all my gaps. I have never been great at entertaining myself in front of a computer, which seems to be my only outlet at work and thus has been a problem. It definitely has made me lazier, and less inspired to really do anything. I realize I always capitalized on free time previously because it was precious. Now with a plethora, it is really easy to simply say, "Oh, well I can do that later..." and then the task never gets done.

An article that my Mom just sent me titled, "7 Strange Questions That Help You Find Your Life Purpose"  lays out my problem point blank. In particular the author's questions of, "Gun to your head, if you had to leave the house all day, every day, what would you do?" and, "If you knew you were going to die one year from today, what would you do and how would you want it to be remembered?" Now these are harsh questions that for me at least, really make me not want to be sitting on the couch after work everyday watching Netflix. Moreover, I am working on planning to utilize my free time as if I had classes: 1 hour to cook and clean, 1 hour to exercise, 1 hour teaching myself Light room, 1 hour taking photos outside etc. In turn, I want to better maximize the fact that I am in Japan.

Bay Area Adventures: Esther and Liza

I have other goals too, some are ones I already was executing in 2014 such as exercising regularly and cooking most of my meals at least 5 times a week. Other goals are more ambitious, and encouraged by my friends, like being more creative. In high school I was really invested in my art, and I definitely lost sight of that in College, therefore I hope to regain some of my creativity here. I hope to continue writing, on this blog, in my journal, keeping up my DayOne photo app journal about my time here.

Lastly, a really important one, is to be present and relax more. I am very Type A and OCD. I had to be at school, but it definitely has caused me to become an obnoxious planner and stress out when others don't align with my thinking. I have considerably become more lax. Planning spontaneous trips, not stressing as much about informal gatherings, and frankly not making every minute worrying about other people's schedule and rather just focusing on my own.

SF Adventures: My Little Stella
NYE in SF: Sarah and Liz - Hometown and College Friends Unite

Finally, a few ways I have come to this newfound positivity with a "clean slate," prospect is really focusing on mindfulness and letting go. I read this article last month when I was feeling particularly down, each of the ten things listed I have either let go of, or am working on it, "10 Things To Let Go of Before the New Year." MindBodyGreen is a great site filled with tips and compilation of blog posts that have really helped me further focus on myself and stay positive. In particular this article really targets a lot of the internal struggles I have had. Specifically, I used to constantly ask myself this question, "WHY is this happening to me?" as well as struggling with maintaining control and feeling like my current situation was going to to be my lifestyle for the long-haul.

I realize more than ever, that I have to be present, we all should. I encourage everyone to focus on themselves. Do not feel selfish by putting yourself first. Just yesterday Brian, my best friend in JET, told me I sounded more confident and asked where it came from. Frankly, I think it is because I am making myself number one in my life and thus boosting my happiness level.

January 1, 2015
Tennessee Valley with Sarah

I reflect back to a year ago, when I still had two quarters at UCSD, not knowing where I was going to work, freaking out that I wasn't going to graduate because I had to take two major classes at the same time, not to mention what felt like a million other stresses since I had no idea what not being in school would feel like. Now, a year later I can say that 2014 was really great. For a while I was negating all of the fun and positive experiences I had in the conclusion of my Senior year, and acting like a Negative Nancy here in Japan. However, after going home I realize how much I have learned by being Japan, how much I have grown, and how strong I am as a person. Also, I truly feel grateful for all of the amazing friends and family I have in my life. A good selection, but not all, are photographed in this blog entry. I feel extremely fortunate to have maintained so many long-lasting relationships over the years. I plan to focus on continuing to maintain them in the new year.

I am excited for 2015. For the unknown paths we are all going to take. I am excited for all my friends who are  on a similar journey that I am. I really think 2015 holds a lot of promise. I have no idea what will happen, where I will end up post- JET. Yet, I realize there is no point in worrying, since frankly I  have no idea what lesson I am supposed to teach today, so in lieu of being present I have to focus on the little things first.

I encourage you all to be present and mindful, focus on yourselves, and jumpstart 2015 with positivity. Happy New Year Everyone!

Week 21: Holy Snow

My Lovely Moe 

He Looks Like This After I Park Him Everywhere

Holy. Snow.

I have repeated these two words non-stop for the past two weeks. The first snow fall occured on Friday, December 5th. What began as an innocent sprinkle of snow, turned into apocalyptic winter wonderland in less than 24 hours. This past weekend the snow has elevated to easily three-five feet, and that number keeps increasing. The past few days I head out to my dear car Moe, and seemingly sing in my head, "Everday I'm Shovelin'..." to the tune of LMFAO's Party Rock Anthem song, specifically swapping Shufflin' to Shovelin.' In other words, the amount of snow is so ridiculous that all I can do is laugh hysterically as I shovel it off my car...and apparently come up with ludicrous songs to go with it.

Least to say, the snow brings both challenges and rewards. It is a mess to drive in, and never have I been this nervous to hop in my car before. The Japanese attempt to keeping the roads clear is via giant snow plows, and an only semi-effective sprinkler system along all the streets. Night time driving is the equivalent of a really bad video game where the goal is to disrupt the driver's vision as much as possible, and drop snow bombs along the ride, but instead this is the reality of snowy Inaka winters. In turn, each  time I leave my car, it is expected that I will return to a marshmallow looking blanket of powder piled perfectly atop it. Thereby instituting the mental struggle to simply want to go anywhere knowing that there will definitely be an arm workout waiting for you. My extendable snow brush-shovel-contraption and I have already become good friends.

From KJ Parking Lot

Yet, the snow has a beauty that is indescribable. My feeble attempt to take pictures fails to do justice to the snows enchantment. The trees look like the fake snow-covered trees that you see in Snow Globes back in the U.S. but in this case they are as real and majestic as ever. Also, when in snow country there is absolutely no excuse to avoid snow sports. To be frank:

I went skiing. For the first time in over a decade, and...

I LOVED IT.

Atop one of the runs at Joetsu Kokusai Ski Resort

My dear friend from high school, Anna, frantically messaged me pre-ski experience in slight disbelief that I was finally going. Since frankly, I was the person in high school surrounded by ski-enthusiastic friends who went every year and simultaneously attempted to drag me along with them...and never did. However, I was determined to commit this year. I did so entirely and invested in a ski pass, ski clothes, and rented my own set of skis, boots and poles. Basically, I did not give myself a choice of not liking skiing (huge sigh of relief that I enjoyed it so much!).

Ski Pass; First Day on the Slopes

This past Saturday I ventured over to the ski resort with my Mom's joking email in mind telling me, "Don't fall off the chair lift!" (yeah...that happened the first time) before the rest of the crew, and took a ski lesson in Japanese and somehow managed to only fall once during the entire lesson. I eliminated my anxiety with the chair lift after the first fall, and can say that I am a bunny slope semi-pro. The one attempt to go down a huuuuuuge run was not so pretty, and resulted in me butt scooting up a mountain to avoid tumbling the entire way down. I am ever grateful to Talia for enduring this process with me, and never complaining once. Rather, she listened to my manic laughter at how ridiculous the situation I put us in was.

Regardless, I am anxious to go  again and practice more. I am hoping between it being a good workout, it also helps make the snow enjoyable.

Pictures Taken Around My Apartment

On another note, in light of my previous blog post, I just want to say a huge virtual-Thank You. I am still overwhelmed with the number of messages I have received. It is unbelievably amazing to realize how many wonderful people I have in my life. It seems silly to say, since I have always known of my good friends and family, but it's crazy how it sometimes takes hitting rock bottom to fully wake up and realize how fortunate I am. In a  span of two weeks I have been in touch with more people around the world than I have my entire stay in Japan. I regret that it took me this long to reach out to so many people, but I hope to continue to maintain these conversations in the new year.

Yukiguni Crew at our Thanksgiving and Christmas Party 

Lastly, in lieu of the holiday spirit and snow, it has been a blast hanging out with my local Yukiguni crew. Between our Christmas party and a weekend filled with skiing, I am continually grateful for the camaraderie and sheer desire to have a good time these folks bring.

To end, I am extremely excited to head back to the States this Friday (tomorrow!). I'll be time traveling and leaving Friday night and arrive in the morning at LAX. I am anxious to get out of Japan, and take a break from all the maddness that has ensued in the past couple months. I am looking forward to recharging with friends and family (frankly 5+ months of not seeing people is TOO long). Also, after getting over the fact that I wasn't going to see another Asian country in 2014, I recently booked a ticket to Singapore as a birthday present to myself in January where I will finally be reunited with one of my best friends, and study abroad roommate: Mac as she makes her big work move to Asia!

I am wishing everyone the happiest of holidays, and a great start to 2015! I look forward to seeing what the year of the Sheep brings!

Honesty and Asking for Help

I was told about a month ago, "What is a blog, if you can't be honest with your readers." This comment has stuck since then, and in light of the last month of 2014.    

           I choose to be blatantly honest.

When you are accepted into the JET program, they send you a general handbook. In the many pages, there are a series of graphs and charts that detail the "waves of culture shock." There are various versions depending on the "type," of person you are. My version cannot necessarily be mapped on a "wave graph," rather I describe my experience thus far as this metaphor:

I'm on a train. The train takes a while to get going, but finally it's up and running. Then, it breaks down. It's fixed, and begins to move again, but suddenly, out of no where, it breaks down. Once again, it's fixed a second time, but within seconds it breaks down a third time. And then, I'm stuck.

The moment I moved to Japan, I was overwhelmed with culture shock, inabilities to cope with severe isolation and working a job that I had no prior experience in. Added with the the frustration of not being able to understand anything that was going on around me due to the language barrier. Most of all, I missed so many people. I let every single one of these factors, plus many others, to make me dig a very negative hole for myself. I dug it so deep, that I worried I couldn't get out. I let these feelings overwhelm me. I took out my fears, insecurities and aches of missing everyone I loved, to turn me into a person that was not me. I had evolved into a version of myself that I hated, and most of all wanted to get rid of.

My meek train metaphor above describes my experience in Japan. I've had three major life events, that have almost consecutively occurred in recent two months of being here. All have been caused by unpredictable events that are tied to significant people in my life, and all have hit close to home. Although, not directly correlated to the country itself. These three happenings, in conjunction with all the stresses of moving and working abroad, have frankly turned the latter of 2014 into a year that has caused me to experience a type of pain and suffering I have never felt before.

No one being, can truly tell you how you're going to feel in a new place. Moving, making a change, transitioning and so on, are all parts of life that can either be the most rewarding, the most difficult, or a mix of the two. No one can warn you of what is going to happen in your life when you decide to take a leap of faith.

I recognize now, more than ever, that I do not have to deal with my train wreck on my own. It's taken me until my third breakdown, to finally: ask for help. 

In a span of less than 48 hours, I have been overwhelmed with the number of phone calls, messages, video chats, and sacrifices of local ALTs have made to frankly: help me.

For me, it's something easier said, than done. Very few people knew what was going on in my life when I first moved to Japan, as paraphrased by the above paragraphs. I didn't let people know, because I am both stubborn and was trying to prove "something," to myself that I could do this. I realize now, that I can't get through any of this without help. I realize how silly I was not being honest with myself and others. I realize how my strive to handle things alone, caused me to possibly hurt and push some of my closest relationships away. Importantly, I realize how lucky I am to have people who have made sacrifices right and left to help me, notably the 90% of them being an entire Ocean away from me.

I write all of this, because a blog is supposed to be a record of an experience. Even though I, and everyone else viewing this wants to revel in all my positive and happy moments. I remember what that first person said about blogs and honesty, and I think the entirety of these raw emotions I am feeling finally need to be published in this space. I want every person who is reading this to gain a better understanding of the hardships, not to make them feel sorry, but to provide perspective. 

To further emphasize my point, I write this to all my fellow patrons abroad who are making a work transition in a foreign country, it is probably one of the hardest things you will ever do. I write this also to my friends and family Stateside, who feel the same about moving to a new city or state. I write this to people who feel stuck where they are, and have no idea when their train is going to be moving again. I write this to all the future JET participants, not to scare you, but to prepare you mentally, a heads-up never hurts.

Each person's experience is completely different on JET. I believe that no one person's feelings can accurately be mapped on a chart offered in a guide book. However, what can be written in a guide book is this: Ask for help. 

I have asked for help, and the results are overwhelming. By no means am I OK. In fact, I may not be OK for a long time. But, my cries for help are being met. Even as I sit alone in my apartment in my tiny countryside town, I feel incredibly loved and cared for. Most of all, I am beyond thankful. I am scared and nervous for each day here, as of late. Each day is a really scary and unknown adventure that I hope to overcome and tackle. In the moment, my train is completely at a standstill, but slowly and surely I at least am realizing it will move again - eventually.

In the meantime, my goal is to focus on each day leading up to December 19th when I will be Stateside (yes, change of plans) and in California for two solid weeks. I hope to recharge and optimistically end this horrendous period, on a good note.

To every single person who has helped me along this journey, I thank you. I know with your help, that I will get through this.

With all my heart,
Adrienne

Week 19: Becca & Korea

Becca and I at Gyeonbokung Palace

 

Last weekend I took my first excursion outside of Japan and visited one of my favorite AEPhi sisters Becca! Becca is teaching English in the outskirts of the fantastic city of Seoul. True to her big heart, she pulled out all the stops and catered this trip to my interests. We dined like queens, and I fell in love with Korean food. It was a fantastic trip, and I'm already anxious to see if I can return to Korea at another point this year. 

Delicious Market Place

I arrived late Friday night, and we both having had a long week of teaching slept in on Saturday. We finally left the house and grabbed a late lunch at this fantastic street market near Gyeonbokgung Palace. One of Becca's teachers recommended this gem to us, and it was well worth it! This traditional market asks visitors to buy gold coins for the equivalent of about 10 U.S. dollars. We walked up and down the aisles probably five times before we each decided on our perspective spread. We were both surprisingly stuffed. It was all delicious! I particularly enjoyed my Kimchi Pajeon, which is a delicious egg pancake (lower right of my tray). 

After we stuffed our bellies full, we headed to the palace. Becca, not only a food connoiseur, but also a big fan of taking photos (thank goodness!) urged us to stop by the gorgeous fall leaves. Both of us being from California continually "oh-ah-ed," at the real fall foliage and of course, took photos.

Obligatory Jumping Photo and Selfies at Gyonbokgung Palace

We showed off our AEPhi Love in Korea

We played around at Gyeonbokgung Palace, equipped with Becca's selfie stick which are all the rage in Korea. We couldn't go inside the palace due to the hours, but the outside was gorgeous. I loved looking at the architecture. Although somewhat similar to the Japanese temples, this place utilized a lot more color and geometric designs. 

Foodie Adventures in Seoul

Only a few hours later, we ventured over to another part of the city where I met Becca's crew of friends. We dined on legit burgers and really nice brew. I got overly excited when I saw Sculpin, a Ballast Point classic, on the menu and ordered it. I paid way too much for it but it was worth every penny of my nostalgia. The burgers were also really good and I got my fix of burgers and brew. This place was very hipster and had Butterbeers on the menu. Usually, I do not like sweet beverages but this was such a unique concoction (and from Harry Potter!) that I couldn't resist ordering one myself. Of course, good friends help each other finish their drinks.

I don't have any photographic evidence, but we  all ventured over to Karaoke. Me, usually anti-Karaoke (not a big fan of singing, sorry folks!) had a blast. It was wonderful meeting Becca's friends and putting faces to names of her group in Korea. 

N. Seoul Tower Fun

The next day we went to N. Seoul Tower, a hit destination in Seoul. Becca came prepared with our "love lock," to put on one of the many fences at the foot of the tower. We spent a good chunk of time in this area enjoying the view from the top of the tower, taking lots of pictures (of course!), and of course being corralled by a group of Asian tourists to take a group photo with them (one woman had a death grip on me, probably to make sure I wouldn't run out of her picture). 

O'ngo Korean Food Tour

After adventuring around the tower, we went off to a big shopping area where another one of our fooding restaurants awaited us. We got Dak-Kalguksu at an amazing restaurant recommended by one of Becca's teachers. This restaurant was amazingly efficient. We ordered immediately, and after stepping away to use the restroom I returned and our food was waiting.

Afterwards, we did some window-shopping and we relaxed in a cafe. Later, we met up with Becca's good friend, Michelle who is also in her program. Becca's parents got her this amazing food tour experience for her birthday present. The three of us went on the night food tour with O'ngo. This three and a half experience was amazing! We took all the back streets, and ate at hole in the wall restaurants that only the true locals would know about. We dined at four restaurants. My favorite was the first Korean BBQ place. We sat outside at intimate tables and had a blast enjoying really good meat that came with tons of spices, sauces and condiments to enjoy our grilled food with. Our dessert restaurant showed off Korea's version of shaved ice. Another treat I am usually not a fan of in the States, but was pleasantly surprised by this version. Our guide ordered two flavors. My favorite was the matcha-flavor shaved ice. It had red bean and condensed milk hidden in the center. The true tea flavor shined through this dish and it was a great end to the entire meal.

Overall, my trip to Korea was amazing. I absolutely loved the country, the people, and of course, it was amazing to see a friend, more importantly a sister, Becca. She was one of the most generous and hospitable hosts I have ever had and I am ever grateful for the organized and fun weekend she planned for us. If I have time, I hope to make my way over there again. In the meantime, I will do my best to post again before the holidays hit. I'll be in Taiwan visiting Patrick for Christmas and New Year's, and am anxious to escape this cold weather (surprisingly, it hasn't snowed yet!).